That all the negative energy, it would all decease Say what’s on your mind and you’ll find in time When you’re feeling down, you should never fake it
BE WITH YOU MARY J BLIGE PROFESSIONAL
With all the makings of personal and professional ruin before her - the eventual downfall of her famed now-ex-boyfriend is a tragic example of what easily could have been - she instead delivers what is widely regarded as one of the most important albums of the 20th century.ĭespite her own grief, which she literally shouted out for us to hear, despite the historical precedent for Black-girl feelings being met with summary dismissal, she managed to issue guidance for the rest of us that surely served as an intention for herself:
By her own accounts, Blige was battling depression, suicidal thoughts, and an unhealthy, tumultuous relationship with another well-known singer during the recording of her second album. She famously attended - and quit - charm school, refusing to pretend to be more content than success had made her. Only 23 when My Life was released, Blige boldly told the entire world that she was sad as hell … on the title track for the follow-up to her massively successful debut. (Down and out, crying every day, don’t know what to do or to say)” My understanding of the title song is devastatingly advanced now:Īnd see what I see (Oh, you will see I’m so blue) I burn a hole in it, give it a break, and run back when I need to recharge. Since then, I have returned to the album on an average of every nine months or so. As I have a literate, internet-savvy child now, I’ll only say that “Be Happy” was a mantra in and out my mouth like an ancient chant for nearly nine months, and that I was grateful to have it. My first adult My Life moment came during my pregnancy in 2012. While I loved What’s the 411 - and wanted very badly to have younger parents who might understand why I, a second-grader, needed to dress like a 20-something New York woman - it was My Life that gave Mary J. Inspired by Blige’s invitation to “take a look at my life and see what I see,” I even wrote a play inspired by the album that my class staged for the entire fifth grade. I was 11 when I first heard My Life: too young to understand much of what our good sis was singing about, but old enough to feel something deep in my bones when I listened. Yet, in the midst of her sadness and self-loathing and her commitment to the idea that that man represented an end to her sorrows, if only he could love her back, she manages to call out to the universe that she wants something much, much greater for her life. On it, the Yonkers native describes being in a relationship with a man whom she is literally begging to love her, to “see” her, over the course of this album, which is still clearly difficult for her to speak about after all these years. If you have not heard the recently released 25th-anniversary edition that features Blige’s commentary, you absolutely must.
BE WITH YOU MARY J BLIGE FULL
But when I consider the full trajectory of Blige’s life, admiration gives way to aspiration, as the iconic multi-hyphenate has achieved my greatest dreams. In fact, for the past month or so, I have been singing her sophomore album, My Life, like my life depends on it. Her precise articulation of Black-girl feelings is unparalleled, something I greatly admire as someone who also works to share Black-girl feelings with the world. Blige is a rare exception to my “Celebs are just okay” rule.
BE WITH YOU MARY J BLIGE SERIES
“Second Acts” is a series about making big changes later in life.
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